Microwave Society.

I was on the freeway yesterday morning. Hwy 290 to be exact. Anyone in this area knows that the speed limit is 65 mph and if you drive this hwy frequently, you would also know the average speed people drive on 290 is 85 mph.

Now, yesterday morning... I was riding passenger from Shipley's Do-Nuts (best donuts EVER by the way) and we're doing the usual 80 mph in the right lane and then suddenly we slow down to what seemed like crawl at 60 mph. Now of course, the driver (a woman) is slightly annoyed by this sluggish speed and wants to move over to the left but faster moving cars are zipping down 290 leaving us behind.

Finally, all the cars in front of us slide over to the left and overtake the two slow moving vehicles. Then I see that the slow cars are refurbished cars from the 1930-40s era. In one, an older hispanic man. In the old car in front of him, an older married couple. And then it comes to me...

Where the hell could all these people speeding on 290W be going at 9 something in the morning. Nothing happens in Waller, Prairie View, Hempstead, or Brenham on a Saturday morning. What's the rush? (And what's the whole point of this post?)

(Here's the tie-in) It's the society we live in... this microwave society where everything has to be done quickly. This society is all about speed... high speed internet, 3G mobile phones, email, etc. College students complain all the time, left-and-right about how they can't wait to graduate but do we really want to be out on our own in the real world?

We walk briskly to our destinations but do we really know where we're going?

hiatus.

Sorry about the hiatus... i tend to do that.

That Thing as told by Olubowale Victor Akintimehin

Wale:

The irony in the pursuit of success is that once some of us achieve the dream we swore we wanted, the things that were important on the road to it tend to deteriorate -- family, "friends" and often love.

When I was in early high school, I would chant nonsense like money over bitches. Looking back, I cringe. After failed relationships, failed "flings," failed attempts at being a gigolo, player, or anything under that umbrella, I made a self declaration that 2010 will be the year of #thatthing. #thatthing is an absolute anomaly. It's unexplainable. It soothes, it kills, it holds, it harms. It literally can grant life or death with one touch. And for this reason, many of us wear masks, metaphorically of course. Masks that cover insecurities. Masks that prevent #thatthing from capturing you in its relentless clutch. The fear of being hurt, for some, is far more important then the joy of being in love.

Women, how many men have you met who surround themselves around so many women, they wouldn't be able to distinguish "the one" if she were right under his nose? I propose the same question to the dudes: Have you ever courted someone and did everything in your power to make her "open her eyes" (Bobby Caldwell x Common)? Yet she still wants to be in the club every other day or she tells you she doesn't want commitment. That is her trying not to be vulnerable. That is the proverbial wall that can't be penetrated because even the briefest daydream of #thatthing will send her into shock. #thatthing has the starring role in life's movie. A nigga may have never experienced #thatthing, but his mother/father/sister/brother/teammate's experiences may have been enough to instill the fear. A woman may never have experienced that thing, but her homegirl/bestfriend/play-cousin just may have made a fool of herself at a local club, go-go, movie theater or mall because of #thatthing.

I've decided to pursue monogamy this year because #thatthing is beautiful. I literally drove down South Dakota Avenue with a North Face coat (the big joint) some basketball shorts, a wifebeater, and Timberlands. (Nike boots were muddy) on a summer night, because I wanted to show her "how real these tears are." I can laugh at myself now, but at the time #thatthing had me lunchin'.

Ladies, Gents -- #thatthing don't give a fuck what she/he looks like, either. Many of us have fallen victim to the I-can't-believe-I-used-to-sleep-with-that-monstrosity syndrome. Another result of #thatthing. For fear of hurting someone's feelings (and encouraging an angry woman to stalk me), let's just say I once was so caught up in #thatthing, I looked past several character flaws (as well as physical) for an extended period of time.

I have to ask myself why. Is it the thrill of chase? Spending nights under the covers talking about nothing? Your partner is so "perfect" that just to hear their breath is the most tranquil feeling in the world (and completely trumps a quick nut from a jump-off.) Her sex is so good I look past the fact that she has no job, no car, no ambition, and no drive. Or ladies -- maybe he f*%cks so good that you forget that he has six children and he's only 25. The most proud can be publicly foolish. The shy guy can transform into the most outspoken. The moment your heart and hormones start to fight for control of your brain, you're probably caught up in #thatthing.

My pursuit of #thatthing is a difficult one. I like to consider myself an unrecognizable famous person, meaning I can still do the things most 25-year-old employed black men can do, without too much attention. But at the same time, a lot of these women know who I am, (albeit never heard a song. LOL.) This is where the pessimism starts to creep in. And the paranoia that guides my judgment when exchanging numbers. Why does she want to talk to me? How long till she tells me she's a model? I met Jay-Z in '99 he said he was gonna sign me. Can you ask him if we're still good? Situations like this make the pursuit of #thatthing just as hard as shaking it off once acquired.

Animal Planet.

Hierarchy- any system of persons or things ranked one above another.

Lamus Hominidae
The lames are a common sight on a college campus. Most of the times they are completely harmless but in some cases, they can be quite annoying because the majority of the time, they don't know they're lame and they try to be cool.

Booksimus Maximus
Nerds are frail creatures in the Lamus Hominidae family. They are also the backbone of any university. They are a lower-tier specie seldom seen or heard but play a vital role in the social hierarchy. Without them, some creatures in Collewood would cease to exist.

Poserius Humanoid
The posers are sneaky pests who try to familiarize themselves with a particular demographic and try to emulate/imitate the behavior they see. They are mostly oblivious to their own behavior and often times believe that they are Homo Sapiens. Avoid these creatures by any means necessary.

Bandus Hominini
Band members are a parasitic people that are very closely related to the Homo Sapien family and work extensively with Jockus Humanus seasonally. These creatures walk amongst the campus in herds or clans most commonly referred to as "cliques" and because of their nocturnal activities, when the sun sets they are seldom seen yet always heard. Though they are usually peaceful beings, when isolated and faced with danger, they can let out a single battle cry and within a matter of mere minutes (sometimes seconds) a predator can be swarmed by a group of band members and the results can be catastrophic and potentially deadly.

Homo Sapien
The regulars. They are the most common creature found on a college campus. The regulars are your typical average student. There are many species of this creature that are categorized by their behavior, physical appearance, and habits. I call those sub-types, "packages." For instance, the popular package. A creature in the popular package can be a number of things, pretty/handsome or pretty handsome. You have the quiet package; regulars in this group tend to like poetry, socially conscience music, and Sade. Other packages include: attention-seekers, party-whores, swagger-jackers, hustlers, comedians, players, boppers, dick-riders, crazies, haters, hoes, sluts, stoners, nobodies and so forth and so forth. Regulars come in all sorts of packages that can be combined to make any and every regular unique; like Zebras, no two regulars are alike with the exclusion of twins, triplets, etc.

Jockus Humanus
Jocks, who are professionally known as "Athletes," are second only to Greek. They are the meat and muscle to most college campuses. Burrowers by nature, they tend to be isolated from the rest of the general population by the head of the clan, often called a coach. Depending on the school or habitat, the jocks can be a more dominant creature than the Greek.

Homo Greekanus
Members of social and service fraternities and sororities are considered top predators. Every social group can and has infiltrated the Greek structure in some form or fashion. Greeks are usually made up of lames, posers, jocks, and the regulars. They are considered superior to the rest of habitat and are renowned for their social bravado; they are able to coexist with every creature in Collewood since they are comprised of all the social groups. Their most vulnerable prey--the lower tier species commonly known as "Freshmen."

Where do you belong?

CNN, Blogs & Gay Matrimony: Part II.

There are many situations where kinship creates bonds and obligations not otherwise available to people. Commonly cited is the example of a person who has been in a serious accident and who needs someone to make major medical decisions for them — perhaps even the decision to take them off life support. Whom do the doctors wish to speak to? The next of kin. If married, the “next of kin” is always the spouse, and if that person is not available, the doctors move through children, parents, and siblings.

Gay activists often use a situation like this to point out the injustice done to gay couples who cannot marry, but I wanted to bring it up in order to ask you to take a fresh look at it. Why is the “next of kin” the spouse? After all, doesn’t a person have a stronger biological relationship with parents or children? Yes, but a stronger biological relationship isn’t the same as a stronger kinship relationship.

The relationship with a spouse is often treated as more important because it is a chosen relationship. You can’t choose your parents or children, but you can choose your spouse — the person you wish to spend your life with, share all levels of intimacy with, and establish a family with.

Heterosexual couples have the option to establish kinship with one another by marrying. Homosexual couples, whose love and intimacy cannot be judged as any less valuable or significant than those of straight people, do not have this option: they cannot form a kinship bond with one another. Because of this, their relationships are at a social disadvantage. There is, after all, much more to being “kin” than the legal benefits like what I describe above.

To begin with, there exist important moral obligations kin owe one another. These obligations may be enforced legally, as in some cases with marriage, but very often they are informal and unspoken yet nevertheless supported by one’s social milieu. Kin are expected to, wherever possible, financially and emotionally support one another when a crisis hits. A man who lets his mother become homeless will be ostracized by those around him, while siblings are expected to support one another when there is a death in the family.

The flip side of this are the obligations which the rest of the community owes to those who are tied together through kinship bonds. People who are kin are not supposed to be treated as if they were complete strangers to one another. If you invite a married man to a party, it is expected that the invitation is also extended to his wife — to deliberately exclude her would be a serious insult which would not exist if you invited one roommate but not the other. When a woman’s son achieves some success, you congratulate her as well — you wouldn’t act as though she had no significant connection to him.

To return to the points made by Chris Burgwald, but which are certainly made in various ways by many others who argue against gay marriage: is there any social and moral significance to the marriage certificate which goes above and beyond merely living together and which gay couples are justified in desiring for themselves? Absolutely — just like there is social and moral significance to marriage which straight couples are justified in desiring for themselves.

There should be no puzzlement over a gay couple, whose love and relationship may be every bit as deep and enduring as a those of a straight couple, would want to become recognized as kin, thus creating a new relationship and new ties not otherwise available. There is also no surprise that many gay couples have chosen to have one “adopt” the other, which is the only way such a bond is even remotely available to them outside of marriage.

Yes, gays are asking the body-politic to recognize their relationships as being kinship bonds — and there is no good reason why they shouldn’t be so recognized. There is nothing about the relationships of straight couples which makes them any more “worthy” of legal, social, and moral obligations we traditionally structure as “marriage.”

But what about Chris’ final question, “why am I being forced to acknowledge gay relationship as marriage?” As a private citizen, he would be under no such obligation — at least not legally. He would be under no more obligation to acknowledge the marriage to two men or two women then he would be to acknowledge any other marriage — the marriage of a Catholic and a Jew, the marriage of a white woman and a black man, the marriage of an 60-year-old and an 18-year-old, or my own marriage for that matter.

There will be social pressures to acknowledge gay unions as marriages, however, just as there are social pressures to acknowledge the other listed relationships as marriages. When a person acts as though a spouse is little more than a random stranger, that will normally be perceived as an insult — and with good reason. But if Chris Burgwald or anyone else chooses to act in such a fashion, they will be as free to do so with gay marriages as they are to do so with other marriages today.

In summary, what’s the point of gay marriage? The point of gay marriage is the point of all marriage. Marriage is different from other contractual relationships because it creates bonds of kinship. These bonds are in turn different and more important than other bonds: they create significant moral, social, and legal obligations both for those who are married and between those who are married and everyone else. Some individuals may not choose to acknowledge those obligations, but they exist and they constitute the basis of human society — a society which includes both heterosexual and homosexual human beings.

CNN, Blogs & Gay Matrimony: Part I.

My parents watch CNN religiously... the same way that I watch ESPN. I usually leave the room when CNN is on in the living room because politics bore me but on occasion I'll sit and listen. Issues on CNN are very important and one issue I hear from time to time is that of gay marriage. Now I'm a leisure reader so if I'm on the internet and not soaking my brain with trivial nonsense, porn, or some social network... I'm reading.

I say that to get to my next point. I read that the D.C. mayor just finalized a law that would allow same-sex marriage... and I live in Houston and recently we elected a gay woman as mayor so it wouldn't be surprising if we followed suit... which could make us the San Fransisco of the South.

One of the fundamental questions underlying the debate over gay marriage is, quite simply, what the point is for gays to marry. Aside from certain property and legal issues which could, in theory, be solved by other laws, what point are gays trying to make in attempting to get married? Why is it so important to be able to hold up a marriage certificate and say “we’re married” instead of simply saying “we’re a couple” without a certificate?

I was reading a post by a blogger named Chris Burgwald. He asked on his blog:

Gay marriage advocates argue that this is an equal rights issue. But what is it that a married hetero couple can “do” that an unmarried gay couple cannot “do”? Under current law, gays can commit themselves to one another... they can live together... what can’t they do that married people can do? Nothing, as far as I can tell.

So why is it so important for these gay (and lesbian) couples flocking to San Francisco to be able to hold up an “official” marriage certificate after their one-minute wedding? I surmise that it’s about validation: gay and lesbian marriage is about their relationship being recognized precisely as a marriage.

But my question is this: why am I being forced to acknowledge gay relationship as marriage? That is, after all, what marriage is: a political (i.e. public, on behalf of the people) stamp of recognition. Hence, my conclusion: in many ways (albeit not for all those involved), gay marriage is about forcing the body-politic to recognize homosexual unions as legitimate.

Burgwald is right — and he is wrong, and all on the very same point. He is right that being married is about achieving a sort of validation for gay couple; he is wrong that there is nothing that a married heterosexual couple can “do” that an unmarried gay couple cannot do — and it is precisely this point of asserting social validation for their relationship. Finally, he is further wrong that he is being forced to acknowledge a gay relationship on a personal level.

It is worth noting that there is nothing in these questions about gay marriage which could not be asked about marriage generally. What is it that a married heterosexual couple can do that any couple living together can’t do — especially if we imagine changing a few contract laws to allow for things like property sharing? What is so important about a marriage certificate that any couple, gay or straight, would want to hold it up? What do they hope to gain by having society acknowledge their relationship as a marriage?

Taking Chris’ first two points together, we can address them by taking a look at just what marriage is in the first place. Setting aside all of the loaded arguments about raising children and heterosexual relationships, the most fundamental characteristic of civil marriage which differentiates it from other contractual relationships is the fact that it establishes, legally, socially, and morally, a new kinship — and by extension, a new family.

A group of people can sign a contract for the purpose of setting up a new business, but they don’t thereby become kin or family. Two people can sign a contract assigning one the legal authority to make medical decisions for the other, but they don’t thereby become kin or family. Two people can sign a contract to jointly share property, but they don’t thereby become kin or a family.

When two people marry, however, they do become kin — they are now related to each other. Furthermore, they also establish kinship ties with one another’s families — and in some cultures, establishing kinship ties between the two families has been regarded as the purpose of marriage, not establishing kinship ties between the two people actually getting married.

All of this is makes marriage fairly unique among all other sorts of contracts that can exist in society — only adoption is at all similar. In fact, this is the one characteristic of marriage which seems to be common to all forms of marriage in all cultures and societies through time. The only natural kinship ties are biological, and the only obvious biological kinship which exists is that between a mother and her children. All other kinship ties are established through culture — even fatherhood, which is often as much a matter of social convention as it is assumed biological paternity.

Kinship and familial relationships create the smallest social units of any society. The importance of kinship as a means for structuring relationships and behavior is evinced in the way societies have had so many systems (formal and informal) for establishing pseudo-kinship between people who have no biological relationship and for whom there are no means for creating traditional kinship ties. Common examples of this are the informal ways people refer to one another as “uncle” or “son” regardless of actual familial ties, the prevalence of “blood brotherhood” ceremonies in various groups, and ritual kinship bonds created by different social groups.

Kinship is an important thread in the social fabric. It isn’t an “institution” like marriage because there are generally no specific legal, religious, or social rules regulating it. Kinship is, instead, an amorphous creation of many other institutions which help people structure their relationships with one another.

If you know that someone is your kin, you know that you have different legal, social, and moral obligations to them than you do to total strangers. If you know that two people are kin, you know that they not only have different obligations to each other than they do to you, but also that you have different obligations to them as a group then you would to them as individuals if they weren’t kin.

Marriage establishes a relationship which does not and cannot exist for people who are simply living together. However much a cohabiting couple may love each other and however long they may have been together, their relationship is not such that it can be described as “kin” and, as a consequence, they cannot make any legal, social, or moral claims on others to treat them individually and jointly as if they were kin.

I'm Beamin'

Today, nobody cares
But tomorrow they will, they will
Today, nobody cares
But, oh, tomorrow they will, they will

They said my future was dark
You see me now?
Just look around
I’m beamin’

(We are) They used to talk
When I wasn’t around (Lasers)
You see me now (We’re not)
(Losers) I’m beamin’

I get my energy from my inner G
I be in outer space, but I got inner peace
So tell my enemies that they can’t injure me
I know that irritates, you have my sympathies
Well, you should protest, yeah, you should picket me
I’m on a losing strike, I’m on a winning streak
I’m out in left field, I’m speaking mentally
But that’s a better places than where the benches be
I’m feelin’ really good, me and my different beat
Me and my different drummer, he play the timpanis
See, that’s what got me here, you hearin’ me
Me on my black man in the future shit, call me Billy Dee
See, I’m just forward-looking, that’s how I really see
See, while you Valentines, I’m thinking Christmas trees
And that’s how this would be, even at Mickey D’s
Semicolon, close parentheses

They said my future was dark
You see me now?
Just look around
I’m beamin’

They used to talk
When I wasn’t around
You see me now
I’m beamin’

Do you remember me, the guy from verse one?
Failure’s my last name, Never’s my first one
You see I hood a lot, and yeah I nerd some
Hood’s where the heart is, nerd’s where the words from
Don’t represent either, because I merged them
Its kids who wanna leave, and I encourage them
Go out and see the world, never return from
Yeah, you don’t come back, unless you learn some
And baby girl, what does it matter where your purse from?
Your hurr done, your nails did, your ass fat, but you’re dumb
Mix Melyssa Ford with Maya Angelou
Become a top model and Sojourner too
I try to follow this, what Muhammad do
It’s such a old soul inside the sonic youth
Swear I’m Ferrari’d up, and I’m conscious, too
I don’t prophesize: I promise you

They said my future was dark
You see me now?
Just look around
I’m beamin’

They used to talk
When I wasn’t around (Lasers)
You see me now (Ha)
I’m beamin’

Yeah, it’s me again, the guy from verse two
Well, this the last one, it’s almost curfew
It’s almost night out, so turn your lights on
Where all my 760s, witcha brights on?
Yeah, they are the ones to keep your eyes on
Like how we used to do, to keep the house warm
Now those the type of eyes, I not cry from
You see the tears of fire run out my cryin’ songs
Now the world’s shoulders is what we cryin’ on
The world’s fast lane is what I’m drivin’ on
What am I driving at? I’m tryna drive it home
I’m in the driver’s seat, but you can ride along
It's never cyclops, it’s never I alone
I’m tellin’ your story wherever I perform
Now if they lookin’ for me, tell ‘em I’ve gone
Out in the bright lights, right where I belong

They said my future was dark
You see me now?
Just look around
I’m beamin’

They used to talk
When I wasn’t around
You see me now
I’m beamin’

--- Lupe Fiasco